Grandma's Worries..

Recent conversations with my Grandma and my good friend struck me that I'm no longer getting young. After celebrating my good friend's birthday a few days back, I just realised I'm reaching a grand age of 23 at the end of the year.

Grandma has been especially worried about my singlehood status for the past few months. Whenever I step out of the house, she would no doubt ask who I'm going out with. If I mention my usual female friend's name, she'll just leave it as it is. But if I keep telling her that I'm going out with a female, she'll get concerned and start questioning me in Hainanese, "Why your friends all girls? You got no guy friends huh? You too stuck-up is it?"

At times, when I decided to be completely honest with her, I realised I made a grave mistake.

Grandma : Where did you go just now?
Me : Went out.
Grandma : With who?
Me : Friend.
Grandma: Guy or Girl?
Me : Guy.
Grandma : How old is he? How do you know him? How many siblings does he have? What are his parents working as? How tall is he? Working already or not? Work as what? Earn how much? What's he like? Nice or not? Where he stay? What kind of housing? etc.............

After answering her barrage of questions to my utmost ability, she would go,

Grandma : So, you like him or not?
Me : Ok loh, just friends, nothing else.
Grandma: That's it? Really not interested at all?
Me : Hmm, ya, no sparks but can talk lah.
Grandma: Aiyah, why like that? Anyway, next time don't go out with him already then.
Me : Huh?
Grandma: Ya, if you go out with him again, he may get the wrong impression and think you are interested in him. Don't waste his time and your time also.

I don't know whether to be amused or exasperated with her. To people of her generation, a guy going out with the same girl twice is equivalent to marriage. The word 'platonic' probably doesn't exist in her dictionary. There's absolutely no point in explaining to her that good friends can be of the opposite sex.

Anyway, that's not all. Brother's friends, neighbours and her san gu liu po's grandsons all become her potentional grandson-in-law. And I get damn embarrassed when she starts boasting to her friends how great her granddaughter is in her vain attempts to marry me off. Her favourite phrase, "Whoever marries my granddaughter would be the luckiest man on earth." I feel like puking whenever she says that. Her granddaughter here can't cook or sew, doesn't wash the dishes or clean the house, only knows how to eat, sleep and watch tv. In what way would my husband be fortunate if he marries me?

Whatever it is, I've learnt my lesson. I'm never ever going to tell her that I'm going out with Tom, Dick or Harry. I wouldn't want to be in for an interrogation. As for her matchmaking tactics, there's no stopping her unless the day comes when I introduce my potential husband to her, which I suspect, would be a long time to come.