Grouchy Bear..

Feeling sleepy and moody right now. Sleepy because Rednose, my 12 year old teddy bear, wasn't around last night as she went for a bath. I need to hug her before falling asleep every night if I'm at home. Borrowed Bluenose from Mr Lim hoping that it would be a good replacement. However he wasn't. Took 2 hours to fall asleep. I don't care if Rednose still reeks of detergent. I'm going to have her on my bed tonight.

In a foul mood coz I got reprimanded by someone this morning. Can't stand it when I'm forced to do something that I'm not interested in. I'm not a 12 year old kid who can't make my own decisions. I don't need someone to control my life. A lower starting pay doesn't imply a low pay for the rest of my life, especially if it's a job that I'll enjoy and have future prospects in. A high pay is attractive but what use is it if I know I'm not going to excel in it. I reckon my pay would be stagnant there for the rest of my life and that I'll be dreading to go to work every day.

Being angry is bad for health. So silent war is over but the damage has been done. I wish they could understand me better but it's partly my fault too because I seldom do any explanations. I don't see the need to elaborate on my own plans and actions. Most of the time, I'll get negative responses if I do so. So why bother? It's not as if I'm going to engage in some illegal acts. As long as I'm comfortable with it, I should just proceed. It's my own life after all. Sick and tired of listening to naggings and what I should do.

Somehow, I focus better when I'm in a bad mood. Actually had the patience to dig out my 2 year old Basic Maths Toolkit notes to figure out the inverse of a 3 x 3 matrix to solve my financial tutorial . Being in a foul mood proves to be a blessing in disguise yet again.