Random Thoughts..
My job hasn't been smooth sailing or as enjoyable as I expected. All the passion about nurturing our next generation has almost evaporated only after a month in this line. My ideals about making a difference in the lives of the teenagers seem too over-realistic all of sudden.
I guess it has to do with me being a perfectionist. I get bogged down whenever things are not done properly. I hate it when not all 40 pieces of work are handed in. I dislike having to 'chase' students to hand in work. To me, responsibility need not be taught. It should be something instilled into a child since young. As a student, I always adopted the attitude that "if I don't hand in my work, or if I don't study, it's my own business. I'm responsible for my own future." I don't recall any of my teachers constantly going after my classmates to hand in their work or my parents nagging at me to do my homework. If you don't hand in your work, it's your own freaking problem. I can never understand how and why responsibility needs to be taught.
The worst part about this job is classroom management. Some students can't seem to even shut up for 5 minutes when I'm teaching. I detest it when I'm not shown any respect at all. I got so demoralised on the first day when I officially started teaching that I couldn't sleep well that night. People tell me to just ignore the noisy ones. But I feel so irresponsible if I don't teach the whole class effectively. It's impossible to teach well in a noisy environment. I guess it's partly my fault. I'm just not fierce or firm enough.
At the moment, I'm just living day by day, with no sense of purpose and direction, only looking forward to my pay cheque every month, but not thoroughly enjoying my job. I realise I do not like children as much as I thought. Now whenever I see groups of roudy teenagers on the streets, I find them a pain in the neck. I think I'm not suited for teaching, which requires one to be an educator, parent, administrative officer, social worker and police officer (dealing with gangsters). I don't mind the 1st three roles, but certainly not the last two.
I'm back to engaging in my past favourite hobby: flipping through the Recruit Section. At the meantime, I shall go back to my marking and preparation of lesssons for the little emperors and empresses.
I guess it has to do with me being a perfectionist. I get bogged down whenever things are not done properly. I hate it when not all 40 pieces of work are handed in. I dislike having to 'chase' students to hand in work. To me, responsibility need not be taught. It should be something instilled into a child since young. As a student, I always adopted the attitude that "if I don't hand in my work, or if I don't study, it's my own business. I'm responsible for my own future." I don't recall any of my teachers constantly going after my classmates to hand in their work or my parents nagging at me to do my homework. If you don't hand in your work, it's your own freaking problem. I can never understand how and why responsibility needs to be taught.
The worst part about this job is classroom management. Some students can't seem to even shut up for 5 minutes when I'm teaching. I detest it when I'm not shown any respect at all. I got so demoralised on the first day when I officially started teaching that I couldn't sleep well that night. People tell me to just ignore the noisy ones. But I feel so irresponsible if I don't teach the whole class effectively. It's impossible to teach well in a noisy environment. I guess it's partly my fault. I'm just not fierce or firm enough.
At the moment, I'm just living day by day, with no sense of purpose and direction, only looking forward to my pay cheque every month, but not thoroughly enjoying my job. I realise I do not like children as much as I thought. Now whenever I see groups of roudy teenagers on the streets, I find them a pain in the neck. I think I'm not suited for teaching, which requires one to be an educator, parent, administrative officer, social worker and police officer (dealing with gangsters). I don't mind the 1st three roles, but certainly not the last two.
I'm back to engaging in my past favourite hobby: flipping through the Recruit Section. At the meantime, I shall go back to my marking and preparation of lesssons for the little emperors and empresses.
posted by The Aspiring Chef @ 6:48 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home