Final Week..

For those who have been following closely to my blog for the past few months, you must be having the feeling that I loathe my job so much that I would quit as soon as a new job offer arises. I won't blame you as I've been doing nothing but complaining about my job here. I concentrate so much on the negative aspects that I divulge totally nothing regarding the positive side of teaching.

Now for a bit of reflection and flash-back. The first week of school was honeymoon for me as all I did was to observe the lessons of two teachers with contrasting styles. Or should I put it this way: I got to observe two totally different classes. One was a class of lovable and obedient angels while the other seemed more like a class which consisted mainly of devils and crooks. I officially started teaching the class of devils first. It was the most unbearable 1.5hours of my life. When I stepped out of the class, I was totally shaken. I had nightmares that night. My face was so pale that even Granny noticed it. I hated the feeling of not being in control. I didn't even want to turn up in school the next day. But of course, I'm no quitter. Life proceeded as normal.

I voiced out my concerns regarding that particular class when the vice-principal asked me how were things getting along. I was so thankful when she told me that I would be the co-form teacher of the class of angels instead of the class of devils. I need not teach that dreaded class anymore! I was so grateful that I thanked God for the first time in my life. I only had to concentrate on the class of angels and take over a few graduating classes for Mathematics. It was then that I felt that life wasn't so bad after all.

But the first few lessons with the class of angels wasn't so smooth-sailing after all. I went in with the expectation of demanding 100% attention from my students. When a few students started talking amongst themselves, I blew up at them. I even made them stay back. For subsequent lessons, I went in the classroom with a black face. I did not tolerate nonsense and told them off when they were treating me as invisible. It was only when a student commented in her journal that she wished that 'a particular teacher would not keep scolding them for no reason' that I realised that I was indeed too harsh on them. I began to relax and soon cracked jokes with them during lessons. I admit that uptil now, I still can't get absolute silence from them when I'm teaching for more than 20 minutes. But I soon realise that these are 13 year-old kids. It is understandable that their attention-span is very short. So I try to talk less and instead get them to be more involved in activities and group work. It worked wonders.

My affection for this class of angels grew even stronger when I was sent to invigilate the class of devils for one whole week. I didn't get to see my form class for 7 days. I missed them terribly. Their innocence, their obedience, their absent-mindedness and everything about them. I then decided to buy chocolates for them as a belated children's day present and for performing the best amongst all the Express classes for their Comprehension exam.

This Wednesday, I would be conducting my last lesson with them for the year, or maybe for the rest of my life depending on where I would be next year. I would surely miss them. I'm not sure if the feeling is mutual. I bet some of them would be very glad while the majority would be feeling neutral. After all, I'm just yet another teacher in their short schooling lives.