No Romance..
A few of my same aged female friends are getting engaged. I can't help but ponder if it is too early to do so. Perhaps age is not a good measure to justify so. The level of maturity, one's experiences through life and how much one really knows about one's partner would be more appropriate. I'm feeling a bit left behind as week by week, I seem to be knowing of more and more people my age scouting for HDB flats with their potential spouse.
In Singapore, the best way that males indirectly propose is to ask "Shall we apply for a HDB flat?" or something along that line. Is romance really dead in Singapore that our males have to resort to this most practical but sincere way of proposing in their humble opinion? When a new friend of mine broke the news that she was getting engaged, the first question that me and another friend simultaneously asked was how her boyfriend proposed to her. She seemed a bit stunned by our question. Her answer was that he didn't propose. It was just a natural development for both of them as they have a already reached a mutual understanding. For her, it didn't matter that there was no fanciful proposal. How her guy treated her was the most important.
No offence to people who belong to that category, but I simply can't imagine myself getting married without a proper marriage proposal. Asking me to apply a HDB flat to meet some ridiculous deadline seems to be that we are rushing to get married just for that dream HDB flat. Call me immature or maybe I've been watching too many hong kong drama serials, somehow there seems to be a lack of sincerity in there. To me, a proposal should be a beautiful end to the dating process/singlehood status and a new start to the next stage of our lives - marriage.
Read from The Straits Times that SDU actually came up with a guide of social graciousness for males. In it, it actually states that bad breath is a big turnoff. It is indeed amusing that a guide like this actually existed. Some of these facts are so common sense. Are the males here really lacking in social graciousness? Sadly, my friends and I all agree so. Literally slamming doors into our faces, pretending to be digging for their wallets when the bill comes, not even a single 'thank you' when we drive them to their doorstep (yes, girls sending guys back), rushing into his house as he was afraid of getting wet by the the pouring rain without bothering to guide us in reversing as his house was at a dead-end street, walking by himself without even bothering if the girl is next to him etc. How do guys expect females to get any sense of security from them if any of these are being portrayed? Alright, it's a bit unfair to say that all Singaporean males behave like that. All I want to point out is that females generally want to feel protected and well-taken care of. If a guy can't even provide a female the basic needs or display proper mannerism in public on the first date, what more about the future? Therefore, never under-estimate the importance of first impressions.
Tomorrow would be 14th of February. Here's wishing all couples not only a wonderful Happy Valentine's Day, but more importantly, hopefully the other half that you spend this day with would be the significant one accompanying you for the rest of you life. As for all singles out there, fret now. Console yourself that you are still in the process of choosing for your Mr/Miss Right :)
In Singapore, the best way that males indirectly propose is to ask "Shall we apply for a HDB flat?" or something along that line. Is romance really dead in Singapore that our males have to resort to this most practical but sincere way of proposing in their humble opinion? When a new friend of mine broke the news that she was getting engaged, the first question that me and another friend simultaneously asked was how her boyfriend proposed to her. She seemed a bit stunned by our question. Her answer was that he didn't propose. It was just a natural development for both of them as they have a already reached a mutual understanding. For her, it didn't matter that there was no fanciful proposal. How her guy treated her was the most important.
No offence to people who belong to that category, but I simply can't imagine myself getting married without a proper marriage proposal. Asking me to apply a HDB flat to meet some ridiculous deadline seems to be that we are rushing to get married just for that dream HDB flat. Call me immature or maybe I've been watching too many hong kong drama serials, somehow there seems to be a lack of sincerity in there. To me, a proposal should be a beautiful end to the dating process/singlehood status and a new start to the next stage of our lives - marriage.
Read from The Straits Times that SDU actually came up with a guide of social graciousness for males. In it, it actually states that bad breath is a big turnoff. It is indeed amusing that a guide like this actually existed. Some of these facts are so common sense. Are the males here really lacking in social graciousness? Sadly, my friends and I all agree so. Literally slamming doors into our faces, pretending to be digging for their wallets when the bill comes, not even a single 'thank you' when we drive them to their doorstep (yes, girls sending guys back), rushing into his house as he was afraid of getting wet by the the pouring rain without bothering to guide us in reversing as his house was at a dead-end street, walking by himself without even bothering if the girl is next to him etc. How do guys expect females to get any sense of security from them if any of these are being portrayed? Alright, it's a bit unfair to say that all Singaporean males behave like that. All I want to point out is that females generally want to feel protected and well-taken care of. If a guy can't even provide a female the basic needs or display proper mannerism in public on the first date, what more about the future? Therefore, never under-estimate the importance of first impressions.
Tomorrow would be 14th of February. Here's wishing all couples not only a wonderful Happy Valentine's Day, but more importantly, hopefully the other half that you spend this day with would be the significant one accompanying you for the rest of you life. As for all singles out there, fret now. Console yourself that you are still in the process of choosing for your Mr/Miss Right :)
posted by The Aspiring Chef @ 7:15 PM
2 Comments:
At 4:01 PM,
Anonymous said…
What happens if the guy (or the girl or both) has no intention of sinking his/her/their roots to that island?
I can't imagine myself pawning my life away to that pigeonhole in the sky (on a lease).
Maybe that explains why I am still looking for my elusive other-half. I wonder if she exists, or if she's Singaporean.
At 10:53 PM,
The Aspiring Chef said…
With wages stagnating and high property prices remaining here, it seems inevitable that at some stage or other, everyone here has to pawn his/her life away, whether to that pigeonhole or something more exclusive and spacious, unless one is born with a silver spoon.
I guess generally, most Singaporean females are still relatively attached to their families. After all, we are Asians. Having to relocate somewhere else, which means leaving our families and friends, is a big sacrifice to make for most, especially females who tend to be more sentimental and emotional. Of course there are always exceptions, so look on the brighter side :)
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