High Spirits..

I sensed a glimmer of hope when I received an sms from Duckass this morning that Safin lost. While lying on bed, I was frantically doing my math at 830am on the possible permutations that I would attain this semester and whether they were enough to pull up my rather pathetic CAP. I needed 4 B+ which is chicken feet for many but not for me. After 5 minutes, I decided to stop thinking and go back to sleep but it was quite an impossible task. Finally decided to listen to my current 3 favourite Sammi Cheng songs which would hopefully make time go by faster. Soon, it was 8.55am. I was still too early. Decided to check today's schedule of play for Rog and read up on Safin's upset loss. The time has arrived. 9am sharp. Was very very surprised when i saw my results. I actually got an A for marcoeconomics! For the first time ever, Barbara was at home while I checked my results. Perhaps she's my lucky charm but definitely not for Rog. Whatever it is, this is the first time I feel that my efforts have really paid off. Falling sick during the exam period is not such a bad thing after all. Maybe the gods pitied me :)

Job Offer..

The past 3 weeks have been spent figuring out what is it that I really want to do for the rest of my life. With an economics degree, one would automatically link it to a banking job. I did apply for them but the only reason was that banks offer a high pay. But seriously, I can't imagine myself selling financial products or slogging long hours in the office doing something that I've absolute no interest in.

I've always thought that I would enjoy administrative work as I'm no extrovert and I can survive doing paper work and not facing anyone for the whole day. Afterall, I'm a meticulous person who remembers even the most minute detail. But after going for an interview with a certain ex- statutory board, I realise that I may enjoy the work for perhaps a few months but certainly not the rest of my life. Do I really want to be supervising the cleaners in washing the toilets every 3 hours? Or ensuring that the office does not run out of printing paper? I don't think I would attain any job satistaction in doing such stuff. When I asked about the job prospects, I was really appreciative of the interviewer's frank answer. He showed me a chart showing the various positions above me. Sitting way on top of the chart was the interviewer himself. Sandwiched in between the position that I applied for and him was approximately a few thousand people. Moreover, that was only one deparment. It's not that I belittle my own abilities but seriously, what are the chances of gaining promotion? And I have no qualms that the higher managerial positions would be left for their own scholars.

Next job, insurance agent, or more nicely put, financial planner. I got called up by a certain job agency offering the position of Management Trainee. When I asked her for the company name, she reluctantly told me that it was for Prudential. I probed her further whether it has something to do with selling insurance, she refused to divulge any more information and told me that the manager would explain more when I came down for the interview. So I decided to go for it. The interviewer must have been thinking that the person sitting in front of her was insane. The first thing I told her was that I've no interest in selling insurance and that I do not really enjoy talking to strangers. I'm not the kind of outgoing person that the company wants. It's against my conscience to be persuading someone to take up some form of insurance/financial investment which I myself am totally cynical about. After 20 minutes, she finally realised that I was not suited for the job. I told her that career prospects is very important to me, and of course, I care about money. I almost wanted to laugh when she asked me how many siblings I have and whether my family was reliant on me for financial support. I felt that she was so shallow. Hello, not only the less well-off cares about money. I wouldn't want to be earning some stagnant and meagre sum of money for the rest of my life. Anyway, it wasn't really a wasted trip as she told me she would pass my resume to another department which suited my personality.

Music teacher. The music audition that I went for was a complete disaster which took me a few days to get over. In fact, I haven't touched the piano yet since that fateful day. I felt totally humiliated there. Why do you want to teach music? Coz I like music, I want to inspire children to pick up music. How? Get them interested in pop songs. Play the piano for them and get them to sing. I knew I was doomed the moment I answered that. Seriously, I didn't expect it to be an interview. I thought it was just an audition as stated in the letter. Anyway, it didn't help that the rest of the interviewees know so much about classical music while I absolutely remember nothing about it. Seriously, what's the use of classical music? It's only learnt by approximately 10% of the population, out of which only half of them are really interested. Even MM Lee has admitted his mistake in underestimating the powers of pop culture. Don't try to act high class when you are not. Just go to the 'the durian' and have a look. How many locals actually go there to listen to 'Symphony XXX'? Even if they do, it's most probably sponsored by their companies and not paid out from their own wallets. Anyway, do I really care what kind of musical instruments a certain race use to produce their so called music?

Whatever it is, the job hunt is really a an exciting but tiring chore. Looking out for jobs in the newspaper and internet, sending in resumes, changing cover letters, preparing for interviews, going for interviews etc. I've not been doing all those for the past few days as I've gotten a job offer already. I was initially disappointed that I wasn't offered a permanent position but after thinking through, I found it to be a blessing in disguise. Uptil now, I know my first interest has never been teaching. Yes, I do enjoy making a difference in the lives of children and I get a sense of satisfaction when my students are able to understand and apply the concepts that I've taught. But if given a choice, I would rather work in a sports related job and I'm even willing to take a lower pay than what I've been offered now. Between interest and pay, I would definitely choose the former. However, if I've no alternative but to accept a job that I've no interest in, it had better be of a reasonable pay. Right now, I'm waiting for a call that I suspect would never come. I know my chances are diminishing as the days slip by. Perhaps my resume has already been dumped into the thrash box. Hiaz. Ironically, those that you are really seriously interested in working for never calls, but those that you applied to maximize your chances or those that you didn't even apply for call. That's the real agony of the job hunt.

Dumped Out..

Defending French Open champion Anastasia Myskina crashed out of this year's tournament with a horrid display of tennis. Plagued with personal problems, a lack of match practice, a loss of confidence and a shoulder injury, the Russian produced a whopping 69 unforced errors in a 3 set battle with a lowly ranked Spanish opponent, Maria Sanchez Lorenzo, better known as Felicia Lopez's girlfriend. Myskina looked out of sorts as she often sprayed her shots wide or dumped her normally reliant forehands into the net. The loss came as no surprise to many as the first ever Russian female Grand Slam champion has been undergoing a slump ever since her win here twelve months ago. This can be attributed to her mother's illness, which has put the Moscow-native through an emotional turmoil throughout this difficult period of time. With the loss, Myskina created history by being the first ever defending champion in the open era to lose in the opening round.

I personally feel for Myskina. Her achievements included single-handedly assisting her country to the Hopman Cup last year, where she won her 2 singles matches and the doubles match. She has always been one of my favourite female tennis players despite being less well known and popular compared to her fellow Russian, Sharapova. From all her fans and myself, I wish her mum a speedy recovery and hope that Myskina can once again regain the form that helped her lift the crown just a year ago.

The Outing..

I dreaded going out alone with him but his persistence finally wore me down. Or rather, I ran out of excuses. How many excuses can one come up with when he has been asking for months? At least during the school semester, I could say I was busy with tests, assignments and projects. After my last paper, what could I say? "I am sick," which was the truth. "I've a job interview", again the truth. No more excuses. So I finally relented. I'm really bemused by his planning that it sometimes gets on my nerves. I thought I was bad in needing 24 hours notice for any appointment during the school term. He is worse. For goodness sake, it's the holidays now. Is it really necessary to plan like 1 week in advance when both of us are so free? Furthermore, he even has to plan every single thing we do when we go out. How boring can one get. And I hate it when he treats every thing I say so seriously. Even after I've corrected him, he still insists that I'm not joking. I give up.

I was really amused when I received one of his sms last week while watching my HK drama serial. It went "Can you call me now? I got 2 things to tell you." Thinking it was something important, I called him back immediately. When he spoke, I was trying to control my laughter. He sounded as if he was reading from a prepared script. Any interruptions from me and he would go dead quiet. Halfway through, my mind wandered back to the tv.

Anyway, the outing wasn't as bad as I thought. I was thankful that the meeting time was short. But his frequent ridiculous and stupid questions totally put me off. I know he's nice but the feeling is just not there. Which reminds me, I owe him one as he insisted on treating me just now. Damn it.

Disastrous Season..

A season gone with no trophies to show in the cabinet. A disappointing season by Man U's standard. The problem lies with their inability to score, which has cost them dearly this whole season. Chances flew by one by one yesterday but they converted none. Arsenal hardly contributed to the attack. Man U had most of the possession. What's the use? Only two players were determined to win. Ronaldo and Rooney. One can't help but feel sorry for them. The other aging Man U players are simply of another standard as them. Roy Keane and Paul Scholes are liabilities. Their only contribution to the game is to kick sideways, backwards and make late tackles. Many say Keane is the engine for Man U. Oh please. The team doesn't need him anymore. I hope he realises that himself and call it quits. Paul Scholes? He used to be good but recently I hardly even notice that he is playing on the pitch. Ruud? He is a pale shadow of his old self. He seems to be a step slow every time a ball crosses in. I already mentioned before. He is the culprit for Man U's
decline this season. For goodness sake, the guy is not even match-fit. Why insist on playing him when there are other better strikers like Alan Smith? To hell with Fergie. Even a guy who know nuts about soccer would know that Man U is pathetic now. Hope Glazier fires him asap.

'Wasted' Opportunity..

8 Year Relationship..

Guy got to know Gal through a mutual friend. At subsequent social gatherings, Guy never failed to look out for Gal. Guy always asked where Gal was when she was nowhere to be seen. The first few years, whenever Gal was around at those functions, Guy would find opportunities to talk to Gal alone. But Gal would try to act 'cool' and limit the conversations with Guy. Gal was too immature at that time to know what love was. Guy dropped many hints to Gal and friends but Gal just ignored him even though she was secretly feeling flattered. For fear of rejection, Guy never dared to date Gal out alone.

A couple of years later, Guy went abroad to further his studies. Guy never corresponded with Gal. They only met at those gatherings when Guy came back to Singapore. To Gal, she felt that Guy was no longer as interested with her as before. Guy was probably exasperated with Gal's past nonchalant attitude towards him. They still talked but the kind of special feeling was no longer there. Guy became more mature. He was interested to know what Gal would want to be when she grew up. Gal, being a spoilt and childish kid, was only concerned about the present and not the future at that time. Whenever Gal gave a 'don't know' answer, Guy looked disappointed in Gal. The conversation would abruptly end there. The intellectual and maturity gulf between Guy and Gal seemed to have widen even further than before. In the past, Guy was only interested in external beauty, character and wealth. Guy's priority for his life-time parter had changed ever since. Career-mindedness and intellectual level became more important. What's the use of having a partner who's nice and simple-minded but not having any career ambitions?

Guy came back for good. Gal finally grew up a little. Throughout all the years, Guy and Gal remained single. Once a while, Guy would ask his mutual friends about Gal. But Guy never bothered to speak to Gal when he saw her. This left Gal a little disappointed but as usual, Gal hid her emotions well. Gal just enjoyed the feeling of someone liking her.

After all these years, Guy has finally found a gf. Their relationship has progressed much rapidly than Gal would have expected. Surprisingly, Gal was emotionless when she heard that. It then struck Gal that she was only attracted to Guy because he possessed both wealth and intelligence. Guy and Gal had no common interest at all. Guy is an avid reader, but Gal is not. Gal is a sports fanatic, but Guy knows nuts about sports. More importantly, Gal always had apprehensions about Guy's personality and character. Gal finally realises what is it that she needs.

Now, Gal sincerely congratulates Guy in having found his true happiness.

Heart Issues..

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored.

You'd like to your lover to think you are optimistic and happy.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please.

Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something that will confine you. You are afraid of marriage.

In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

Did this quiz out of sheer boredom. Only decided to put this up because I was surprised how accurate it was.

Sports Fan..

Finally found someone who echoes my view on the hardships of being a sports fan. He's none other than my favourite journalist, Rohit Brijnath, from TODAY. I look forward to his articles, especially after Rog wins a Grand Slam or a Master's Series. He's a fan of Rog too :) I love the way he describes Rog's style of play, Rog's gentlemanly actions and basically, everything about Rog.

Anyway, here's the gist of what he wrote in today's (12/5/2005) TODAY.

Damn, I'm a sports fan. We've always got to deal with the wife, busybody friends and annoying bosses.

IT’S hard being a sports fan. Really. We’re splendid, patient, discerning, thoughtful,
faithful people, who might suffer from minor TV-remote-control-anxiety-issues, but we’re constantly being tested. All we want to do is dominate the TV, without talking or the hoover in the background..

Annoying people are everywhere. Strangers who lean over and conspiringly whisper “he’s going to double fault” are irritating, especially when the player does exactly that. For the rest of the match they think they’re psychic and you their confidante.

Sports fans are usually terrific, well-rounded people, but they can find ways to get upset about anything.

Couldn't agree anymore. Patience is a virtue when it comes to being a sports fan. Your only sports channel is simply too cheapskate to show 'live' coverage all the way. So we poor sports fans have to rely on the 'live' scores through the internet. To think that I pay $12/month (or is it $8) for such pathetic coverage. When would they start showing Rog 'live' ?? I miss him terribly.

Yes, annoying people are everywhere when I'm watching Rog. Unexpected phone calls which I don't wish to pick up, people whom I don't wish to entertain ring the door bell, sms from non-sports fans who are living in a cave, family members shouting for you to run errands etc.

Strangers who lean over and conspiringly whisper “he’s going to double fault” are irritating, especially when the player does exactly that. In my household, its' not strangers who whisper but it's a certain Barbara who curses in a disapproving tone that pisses me off thoroughly. Yes, she thinks she's a psychic. Her favourite phrase: Wo1 gen1 ni3 jiang3, ta1 mei3 ci4 luan4 da3 (For the sake of non-Chinese readers, it goes like this when translated to Singlish : I told you, he always anyhow play.) Ya, he always coincidentally plays badly when she's sitting in front of the tv with me.

Lastly, sports fans get upset about the slightest thing, especially when their team/idol is losing. The stupid sports commentator who just wouldn't shut up, the cock-eye linesperson who is greatly in need of a pair of glasses, the opponent who keeps hitting winners and little unforced errors, the fat gf who only knows how to sit in the stands to read magazines and send sms when her man is in deep trouble, the stubborn manager who insists on playing useless players, my own idol/team for performing well below par and lastly God, Buddha, Shiva, other existing gods and whatever supernatural forces for not helping my idol/team when he desperately needs all the luck and assistance.

Rog is playing tonight. 3rd match. My 'favourite' channel is only starting 'live' coverage at 10pm. Sigh. Just praying that the 1st two matches are stretched as long as possible. Keeping my fingers crossed.

Aimless Soul..

Feeling terribly lost now since exams ended. There was no sign of relief, no happiness, no celebration or whatever so. Just a sense of emptiness in me. Not sure if the fever that I developed a couple of days ago burnt my brain cells. I know I've reached a different stage in life now and this transition doesn't seem to be smooth. It's as if I lost the only focus in life. All along, for the past 2 decades, it has always been studying and doing well for exams. Suddenly, these activities have come to an abrupt end. Welcome to the working world. I'm alright with that but I'm not 100 percent sure what I want to do for the rest of my life. It doesn't help that people around me are one by one getting employed. I've also lost my 'once-a-week' eating/shopping/photo-hunt partner as she has officially joined the labour force.

It absolutely irks me when those neighbours of mine and people that I hardly communicate with start asking me what I want to work as. I'm not even sure myself. How am I going to answer them? I won't mine if close friends ask me that but I hate it when kaypohs do so. MYOB lah. I'll tell you when I get employed so stop asking.

Made a few discoveries while I was sick the past few days.

1. Panadols actually existed in my house.
2. The importance of TV can never be underestimated.
3. HBO actually has thought-provoking movies instead of brainless ones.
4. Those Hong Kong TVB actors who cross over to the China based stations are those that are, sad to say, over-the-hill.
5. Reinforcement of "Health is Wealth".

Most importantly, I realise who are the people that are really concerned for my well- being. It's only when one feels down or ill that one notices such things.

Anyway, today, I got asked this question twice. "Are you a foreigner?" Lost count of the number of times strangers and acquaintances ask me that. When I probe them on what nationality do I look like, their standard reply would be "Not too sure. But just not local." Thank you very much. That was so informative and useful.