Too Fast..

I dislike rushing into things. Under normal circumstances I wouldn't accept to meet up with someone I hardly know. But the person is someone of relation which is why I find it hard to turn him down. I don't want to be labelled as 'rude'. This would not only reflect badly on me and my family, it would also make things extremely awkward in future. Hence, under those circumstances, I gladly accepted to meet up.

It was a little uneasy at the beginning. After a while, things weren't so bad. But as usual, the topics revolved the same old matters. I didn't like the part where he described his Final Year Project. Maybe I shouldn't have pretended to sound interested in the first place. As a sign of courtesy that I was listening attentively to each and every word of his, I kept nodding my head. Hiaz, common sense should have told him: would an Econs grad really be so fascinated with electronics, programming and such?

The only consolation was that we had some common interests, which kept the conversation flowing. That was also the prime reason why I agreed to meet him. But things didn't turn out as fairy-tale like as I expected. On the whole, he behaves, speaks and looks like a typical engineer. I should have known that in advance from the way we corresponded. Oh well, as usual, pinning too high hopes will only lead to disappointment.

Why Teach..

Why teach? The first and most asked question I get when I tell people my occupation. Neh, my answer doesn't go "I have a passion for teaching" or "I love kids" or "I get a sense of satisfaction when I see a kid change or improve" or "I was inspired by Teacher X". The above are model answers that one gives during the interview with a certain organization. But of course, even though I don't tell people that, it doesn't mean there isn't a tinge of truth in those answers.

Have been getting calls from unknown insurance agents and bankers regarding financial planning. Upon knowing that I'm a trainee teacher, their first question, "You love teachiing?" Being a person who doesn't know how to lie, my instinct answer is "Not really." I would either be greeted by an awkward silence or a cynical laugh.

What's wrong with that answer? Teaching has never been a childhood dream of mine, so 'love' would be too strong a word to use. Not loving teaching doesn't imply hating it. How in the world does one know whether one loves to teach when one has hardly taught a class of 40? Giving tuition is entirely different from teaching in a school. Giving tuition is simply giving attention to one child with the main aim of covering the syllabus and teaching the child tips to be exam smart. In a school, teaching is about providing holistic education to each and every student under your care, being a counsellor, being a friend, preparing lessons, doing administrative work etc. There's a vast difference being a tutor and a teacher.

Next about loving children. Generally, that's true but there are always exceptions. Lower secondary, especially the secondary ones, are on the whole still adorable and harmless. But from secondary two onwards, the kids go through puberty stage and start getting defiant, rebellious and having a mind of their own. These kids grow up to become teenagers. Of course I'm not saying every kid starts growing into a 'monster'. Most are still angels who would not cause any kind of trouble for the teacher. Let's just say I love kids, but I don't love teenagers. I don't dislike them either. I am basically neutral towards them.

After 2 months of being a trainee teacher, I've learnt much about the current education system. There's a move away from the traditional teacher-centred learning towards a more student-centred learning. Rote-learning, along with drilling, is strongly discouraged. Also, more emphasis is placed on problem based learning, with the focus on collaboration with other peers, higher-order thinking and independent learning. Sounds like an advertisement for SMU? There's also a whole bunch of theories regarding students' learning, thinking and development.

The above are what we are learning on paper. In reality, which is in the schools, is there really a shift in the way students are being educated? I doubt so. From my contract teaching, I can still see that finishing the syllabus and scoring high marks are still the main priority. This is especially for upper secondary, where there are hardly any project works. The mode of teaching is still the same: White board, transparencies and markers. With students who are academically weak, projects definitely won't help them learn concepts faster. Yes, it may help them better prepare themselves when they enter the workforce. But let's be realistic here. Paper qualifications are still essential in this nation. You are not going to get a high starting salary job with lousy qualifications. Student-centred learning will only work well with more intrinsically motivated and academically stronger students. Armed with the basic concepts, they will be able to explore the projects further. Academically weaker students may be able to enjoy the project and learn from it with proper scaffolding from teachers. However, this means that the projects would most probably have to be done in class, which ultimately translates to less time left to finish the syllabus and eventually, not being able to prepare the students well for examinations.

The Ministry has made changes and reduced the syllabus considerably. But from what I witness in schools and hear from current teachers, it seems that there's still not enough time to cover the syllabus. Even if the teacher has covered the entire syllabus, it doesn't mean that students have understood everything.

I'm not sure why but I seem to be very sceptical about every new proposal that is being implemented or whether a certain theory will work in reality. A tutor assured us that it's normal to have such thoughts regarding the latter. It goes to show that we are thinking. I greatly need this assurance from her. As for being a cynic, at least it isn't as bad as previously before I entered this training course. My tutors and peers have managed to convinced me a little about some new implementations to the education system. However, whether I'll be fully convinced will only be known when I become a full-fledged teacher.

Unmotivated Kid..

Upon hearing his 'O' level results, I was stunned. Not so much for his L1R5 (kind of expected), but rather his Elementary Maths grade. 5 months ago, I was just telling my students that it was nearly impossible to flunk E.Maths. Now, here I was, being proven wrong by a cousin of mine. He owns the 'honour' of breaking the impeccable record set by all his elder cousins: scoring an L1R5 of less than 20 and entering JC/Poly.

I wasn't sure how he would react upon getting such atrocious results. Thinking back, I realised that he probably expected it. When he told us a year ago that he expected to go through the ITE-Poly route, I thought he was joking. But now, I know he's not. He ain't stupid, just plain lazy with no focus in his life, preferring to spend his whole life in front of the computer screen playing some senseless game and talking to the virtual world while killing demons.

In my next few years, I would probably be facing teens like him. Unmotivated, aimless, complacent are the few traits prevalent in these kids. Of course there are kids who have really tried their best. But there are a handful like my cousin, who have not even attempted to maximize their ability. Despite having tuition and parents nagging at him, he prefers to shun away from reality and coop himself up in his room, hiding behind the computer screen. I've never heard of anyone who hasn't woken up even when the tutor has arrived at his doorstep. And being complacent is what I can't tolerate. His favourite line: "I passed without studying!" People with low expectations are truly a headache for teachers. He still has the cheek to say that expectations are the roots of all headache. What kind of expectation was he having? If he was a Normal Technical student, I would have told him that wanting to enter ITE was realistic. An Express stream aiming to go ITE? You don't have to aim to go there. Anyone who doesn't study would end up there by default.

After seeing and speaking to my cousin for the first time after the release of the results, I'm not sure he has changed for the better. He confidently told me that it's quite easy to get into Poly from ITE. After all, most of the people in ITE are from Normal Technical and Normal Academic streams while he is from the Express stream. His attitude seriously needs checking if he wants to fulfill his dream. I wish him all the luck that he needs.

No Romance..

A few of my same aged female friends are getting engaged. I can't help but ponder if it is too early to do so. Perhaps age is not a good measure to justify so. The level of maturity, one's experiences through life and how much one really knows about one's partner would be more appropriate. I'm feeling a bit left behind as week by week, I seem to be knowing of more and more people my age scouting for HDB flats with their potential spouse.

In Singapore, the best way that males indirectly propose is to ask "Shall we apply for a HDB flat?" or something along that line. Is romance really dead in Singapore that our males have to resort to this most practical but sincere way of proposing in their humble opinion? When a new friend of mine broke the news that she was getting engaged, the first question that me and another friend simultaneously asked was how her boyfriend proposed to her. She seemed a bit stunned by our question. Her answer was that he didn't propose. It was just a natural development for both of them as they have a already reached a mutual understanding. For her, it didn't matter that there was no fanciful proposal. How her guy treated her was the most important.

No offence to people who belong to that category, but I simply can't imagine myself getting married without a proper marriage proposal. Asking me to apply a HDB flat to meet some ridiculous deadline seems to be that we are rushing to get married just for that dream HDB flat. Call me immature or maybe I've been watching too many hong kong drama serials, somehow there seems to be a lack of sincerity in there. To me, a proposal should be a beautiful end to the dating process/singlehood status and a new start to the next stage of our lives - marriage.

Read from The Straits Times that SDU actually came up with a guide of social graciousness for males. In it, it actually states that bad breath is a big turnoff. It is indeed amusing that a guide like this actually existed. Some of these facts are so common sense. Are the males here really lacking in social graciousness? Sadly, my friends and I all agree so. Literally slamming doors into our faces, pretending to be digging for their wallets when the bill comes, not even a single 'thank you' when we drive them to their doorstep (yes, girls sending guys back), rushing into his house as he was afraid of getting wet by the the pouring rain without bothering to guide us in reversing as his house was at a dead-end street, walking by himself without even bothering if the girl is next to him etc. How do guys expect females to get any sense of security from them if any of these are being portrayed? Alright, it's a bit unfair to say that all Singaporean males behave like that. All I want to point out is that females generally want to feel protected and well-taken care of. If a guy can't even provide a female the basic needs or display proper mannerism in public on the first date, what more about the future? Therefore, never under-estimate the importance of first impressions.

Tomorrow would be 14th of February. Here's wishing all couples not only a wonderful Happy Valentine's Day, but more importantly, hopefully the other half that you spend this day with would be the significant one accompanying you for the rest of you life. As for all singles out there, fret now. Console yourself that you are still in the process of choosing for your Mr/Miss Right :)

Home Visit..

I'm getting exasperated. Is it so hard to come straight to the point instead of beating around the bush? I hate things which are leading no where. I dislike converstations which are left hanging in the air. Anyway, I've given up on that particular person. Perhaps that person is just not fully cognitively developed yet.

Visited a Home yesterday. This particular home was set up to help troubled youths, especially teenage girls with complex family backgrounds. It was a humbling experience at least for me. The 20 of us were brought around the home to look at the living conditions and the facilities that were available. Ironically, this particular home was once a hostel stayed by many scholars and foreign students from my secondary school. In fact, one of my 'idols' and another classmate used to stay there. Anyway, as a form of respect to the girls in the home, we didn't intrude into their rooms. If we did so, it would be a classic example of the term 'zoofication', which by the way is a geographical concept.

Finally see some light and usefulness in what I'm learning in school now. But I'm still procrastinating too much and have totally no urgency in school-related work. It doesn't help that my modules are non-examinable. Another reason could be that I've already learnt some of the stuff that I'm currently touching on. I'm glad I took life span development and english in NUS. At least I don't have so much reading up to do compared to my other peers. And more importantly, I don't feel like a lost sheep in class because my tutor doesn't spoon-feed us.

My slack life is coming to an end pretty soon. My full time-table will set-in once the one week break is over. Sigh. Better enjoy all I can now before I get overwhelmed with assignments and lessons. One good news though. The July intake (approximately 1000 students) will be going for their practicum soon. This implies that I'm almost guaranteed of a free parking lot regardless of what time my lesson starts once they are gone. No longer need to go earlier to 'chop' for a free lot or pay $3 at the pay car park. Not sure why can't they make all the car parks free. After all, besides staff and students of NTU/NIE, who in the right mind would want to come to such an 'ulu' place to park?

Some Thoughts..

For a moment, I thought the heaven gods were rather unkind. Fortunately, the skies cleared when the time arrived.

The weather was perfect. The ambience was good. The food was heavenly. The time spent together was precious. However, the ugly scenerio could have been avoided had they been more accustomed to such situations occuring.

I'm not sure why they always have so many lame excuses and strict rigidities being imposed upon but somehow I wish we could have embarked on such outings more often. Perhaps it's not too late to rectify this.

In Tokyo..

Martina Hingis in Action


Victorious Hingis


Hingis, Sharapova, Sugiyama at Press Conference