Shopping Spree..

After months of whinning about irresponsible people, I finally found an extremely responsible colleague, J. Though J is not my mentor, I'm assisting her as a co-form teacher of the class of angels. Initially, I was extremely terrified of her. She has this really fierce look on her face and does not smile at all when she's handling her duties. But after a while, she began to open up to me and vice versa. She was not so terrifying after all. I managed to learn a lot from her for the past 1.5 months just being around her even though it's a mere 15 minutes per day. Things that I learnt: how to be fierce when necessary, how to get the class to listen to the teacher when the students are in a hyper-active mood, how to handle difficult students, and most importantly, how to be firm and yet caring towards the class. I not only picked up tips on how to handle students. I also observed how she deals with irritating and irresponsible colleagues. What I admire most about her is her work attitude. She performs her work with no complaints and makes sure she does her work properly. But sometimes, she can get overly kancheong that I've to tell her to relax as I would help her and not put on a disappearing act. And on the last day of school, we actually found out that we can't stand the same colleague, who always has the tendency to eat snake. Whatever it is, J has been a great inspiration to me. I'm glad to be given the opportunity to work with her.

Now that school is out for the kids, I'm effectively on a holiday mood even though I still have to report back to school till mid-November. Since I'm paid, I'm not complaining. To celebrate the end of my teaching stint for this year, I rewarded myself with the purchase of Rog's racket (exactly the same model this time) and the most expensive tickets to David Tao's concert. Really pleased with my buys. For the cost of $232, it came with Rog's racket, an N-code Wilson T-shirt, an N-code Wilson cap, 3 Wilson tennis balls, 1 gigantic Wilson tennis bag, free stringing and 2 cans of drinks. As for David Tao's concert, despite paying for the most expensive tickets, I didn't manage to get hold of very front row seats. Reason? I only knew of the existence of his concert a few days ago when the tickets have been going on sale since 10th October. I'm pretty sure I read the newspapers faithfully everyday. I'm not sure why the media did so little in publicizing his concert. I only knew of it when I accidentally tuned into 93.3FM and heard David Tao talking about this upcoming concert.

I have absolutely no regrets 'splurging' my money this way. After all, it's not every day that such deals come along. Furthermore, how often does one's favourite singer stages a concert in one's country? The last concert I watched was 3 years ago, staged by Lee Hom. It's about a time I witnessed another concert.

Final Week..

For those who have been following closely to my blog for the past few months, you must be having the feeling that I loathe my job so much that I would quit as soon as a new job offer arises. I won't blame you as I've been doing nothing but complaining about my job here. I concentrate so much on the negative aspects that I divulge totally nothing regarding the positive side of teaching.

Now for a bit of reflection and flash-back. The first week of school was honeymoon for me as all I did was to observe the lessons of two teachers with contrasting styles. Or should I put it this way: I got to observe two totally different classes. One was a class of lovable and obedient angels while the other seemed more like a class which consisted mainly of devils and crooks. I officially started teaching the class of devils first. It was the most unbearable 1.5hours of my life. When I stepped out of the class, I was totally shaken. I had nightmares that night. My face was so pale that even Granny noticed it. I hated the feeling of not being in control. I didn't even want to turn up in school the next day. But of course, I'm no quitter. Life proceeded as normal.

I voiced out my concerns regarding that particular class when the vice-principal asked me how were things getting along. I was so thankful when she told me that I would be the co-form teacher of the class of angels instead of the class of devils. I need not teach that dreaded class anymore! I was so grateful that I thanked God for the first time in my life. I only had to concentrate on the class of angels and take over a few graduating classes for Mathematics. It was then that I felt that life wasn't so bad after all.

But the first few lessons with the class of angels wasn't so smooth-sailing after all. I went in with the expectation of demanding 100% attention from my students. When a few students started talking amongst themselves, I blew up at them. I even made them stay back. For subsequent lessons, I went in the classroom with a black face. I did not tolerate nonsense and told them off when they were treating me as invisible. It was only when a student commented in her journal that she wished that 'a particular teacher would not keep scolding them for no reason' that I realised that I was indeed too harsh on them. I began to relax and soon cracked jokes with them during lessons. I admit that uptil now, I still can't get absolute silence from them when I'm teaching for more than 20 minutes. But I soon realise that these are 13 year-old kids. It is understandable that their attention-span is very short. So I try to talk less and instead get them to be more involved in activities and group work. It worked wonders.

My affection for this class of angels grew even stronger when I was sent to invigilate the class of devils for one whole week. I didn't get to see my form class for 7 days. I missed them terribly. Their innocence, their obedience, their absent-mindedness and everything about them. I then decided to buy chocolates for them as a belated children's day present and for performing the best amongst all the Express classes for their Comprehension exam.

This Wednesday, I would be conducting my last lesson with them for the year, or maybe for the rest of my life depending on where I would be next year. I would surely miss them. I'm not sure if the feeling is mutual. I bet some of them would be very glad while the majority would be feeling neutral. After all, I'm just yet another teacher in their short schooling lives.

Freaking Pissed..

I've learnt not to put in too much emotion in my job. It's just not worth the effort. These students don't see the importance of education. A handful of them come to school to make a nuisance of themselves, cause disturbance to others, be freaking rude to their teachers, don't bother about their marks, be attention-seekers and do whatever they like besides behaving and respecting their teachers. Sometimes when I step back and put myself in their shoes, yes, I didn't really care about my studies from sec. 1 to 3. But at least I bothered to do my homework and whatever I was told to do. No one in my school walked around the class when they didn't feel like listening. No one turned around and started laughing loudly as if the teacher was invisible when the teacher was teaching. The worst behaviour was just chit-chatting with our partners.

People tell me that I must try to empathize with them. They come from broken homes or complicated family backgrounds. I always feel that that's not an excuse to be a nuisance in school. There are other ways of grabbing attention. These people choose the laziest way to do so, which is to intentionally annoy the teacher and not learn. Why can't they do otherwise? Work hard, be respectful towards their teachers, be morally-upright citizens, contribute positively to the society and at least secure a decent future for themselves. And come on, how many percentage of them actually come from broken homes? Being poor is also not an excuse for not studying and anyway, how poor can these people be when they have handphones? Whatever it is, I feel that being poor should spur one to study even harder so that one won't be forever poor. It's a vicious cycle if they continue lamenting on their poor fate without taking any action. Now I finally understand why the gulf between the rich and the poor is widening each year in our society.

While I was invigilating and I look at these students, I really feel very worried for our future generations. Thirty minutes past the exam, you are bound to have students sleeping, toying with their pens, drawing pictures, attempting to cheat etc. I really don't know what to say. All I can do is to shake my head.

Of course there are bound to be good students in neighbourhood schools. I think one negative trait about me is that I tend to concentrate more with the bad students and overlook the good ones. And I do admit that my attitude needs checking if I want to be a teacher as I have the tendency to look down on certain groups of people.

What I learnt today: No point putting in too much heart into my job. The higher one's expectations and concerns, the more disappointed and demoralised one gets.

Moral Values..

Judging from a particular friend, I'm utterly convinced that exam-smart students are basically morons when they are told to do anything but sitting for exams. It was such a simple task but she couldn't do it properly (I shall not elaborate here). Just for her own convenience, she even wanted me to do something against the law. She brushed it off as something insignificant and that no one would bother checking. She didn't think that if it was being checked, I would certainly get into serious trouble. I got so exasperated talking to her that I ended up shouting. I've never spoken so fiercely or raised my voice to any of my friends before. Till now, I'm not apologetic for my behaviour. I'm wondering what kind of person she is and I am indeed upset that she'll ask me to do such a thing. Everyone in my family was so shocked by my voice-raising that they didn't ask who I was talking to and the reason for being so agitated. Mr Lim did catch a gist of what I said before I left to the garden so as not to disturb his tv watching. He told me that had he not been so engrossed with his Changjin, he would have grabbed the phone and gave her a piece of his mind.

To me, having integrity is the most important aspect in a human being. You can argue that I'm just being kiasi : afraid of being caught by the police and having to pay off a fine or being thrown behind bars. Imagine Mr Lim, a future lawyer, having a sister who has a criminal record. But that's besides the point. I absolutely can't tolerate people who always plan to cheat just to stinge on a few dollars or pathetic cents. A person whom I respect a lot always reminded me that if a person becomes too stingy, somehow or other, it would lead to greed and the tendency to cheat, or rather tan1 xiao3 pian2 yi2. I'm beginning to see a lot of truth and wisdom in her words.

So to my friends out there, please do not ever suggest anything to me that involves deceit or cheating just to help me save peanuts. I'll get very insulted and it just goes to reflect what kind of moral values you have.

Selfish Friend..

Recently, I've been feeling disappointed with the people around me. It's not as if I've very high expectations of them. All I expect of people is responsibility on their part and unselfishness. Since working, many of my blog entries have been written about the irresponsibility of adults and students. These people fail to do their own work properly and hence, they cause inconvenience to the others working below or with them. I get highly irritated when people perform slipshod work and pass it down to me. I end up picking up the mess and wasting my precious time in the process. And I absolutely loathe it when it makes it seem as though I'm the person who did the sloppy piece of work no matter how hard I try to conceal the mistakes. Even after reporting to my boss, I still get upset as I'm a perfectionist and I can't stand having errors littered all over and being so freaking untidy.

The reality that most people are irresponsible has finally sunk in and I'm beginning to get immuned to this kind of thrash in our society. Now, I can't tolerate friends who are downright selfish.

From a few minor matters in the past, I got to realise this particular friend of mine always puts her interests above others. I got thoroughly pissed with her once that I told her off but she thought I was only joking. This time round, I felt that she was really too much. To cut the long story short, she wanted me to help her friend (who knows little English) submit some forms to an organization. Firstly, when she passed me the forms, they were in such a pathetic state that I thought they belonged to the dustbin. Secondly, the documents attached with the forms were all not properly arranged. Thirdly, the forms were so incomplete that I swear even a primary school kid would have noticed it. The worst part was the forms were not even signed! I felt that she should have told her friend about the forms when she first received them from her. I forgive her friend for the incompleteness of the forms as her friend probably doesn't even know what the form is asking for. But my particular friend, after 20 years of English education in Singapore, would surely be able to spot such simple mistakes and the glaring blanks. I feel that as a responsible and unselfish person, if she really wants to help someone, she should do it with her heart. Common sense would tell her that a form which is not even signed will obviously be rejected!

That's not all. When I told her that the organization promptly rejected her forms, she kept asking me "Oh no, then how? Must get her to go down and sign?" This pissed me even more. It was as if she expected everything to be smooth-sailing even with half-filled forms. I informed her that the forms were with me as the organization refused to process incomplete forms. Uptil now, there's no reply from her as to what she wants to do with the forms. A responsible human being would have reacted quickly and arranged for the forms to be signed. But no. All she knew what to say was "Then how?" Does she expect me to post the forms to her friend when she should just send it to the organization itself instead of asking me and getting me disgraced in the process for such incomplete forms? Whatever it is, I bet she must be thinking: "I help my friend pass the forms already, I've done my job. It's not my problem if the organization accepts it or not." Initially when I showed Mr Lim the forms, he was utterly disgusted. He asked me repeatedly whether the person who passed the forms to me was actually my friend and told me not to bother about her. But I thought that I should help her as she's my friend and just try my luck. I guess I should have just heed the advice of Mr Lim.

My initial suspicions about her were confirmed through this incident. I finally got to see the true colours of this friend. All I can say is that I'm thorougly disappointed with her. Uptil now, I'm still quite disgusted with her selfishness and behaviour. I know I'm childish but after this incident, I don't feel like having to have anything to do with her anymore. I already can't tolerate irresponsible and selfish people, what more an irresponsible and selfish friend.

A Premonition..

I had a premonition that something bad was going to happen when I received my invigilation schedule a few weeks back. The class that I was going to invigilate was notorious. Having sat in for their lessons, I knew that this class was not easy to handle. In fact, just the thought of having to relief or teach that class gives me nightmares.

During their exams this morning, I caught two students, a Malay boy (M) and a Chinese boy (C), cheating right under my nose. While I was attending to another boy, M and C thought I was oblivious to the situation. C passed something to M. When I confronted the receiver, M, he was in constant denial. I almost engaged in a shouting match with him, but I decided that it would just put me at the losing end and would also distract the other students who were concentrating hard on their exam. I knew that just soley based on my words and what I saw, he could go on denying and saying that my eyes were playing tricks on me even though his claims were totally ridiculous. Instead, I looked for concrete evidence and found them first on C, and then on M. C knew that he was doomed the moment I asked to see his answer script. I didn't bother confronting him, neither did he make any attempt to plead his innocence. M was the troublemaker. He even had the audacity to ask me back for the 'cheating item' and told me not to stand next to him as I was distracting him. That was the final straw. I reported the incident to the HODs and the students' parents were informed. Both of them would be getting zero marks for that paper.

That was not the end to the matter. C admitted to cheating within five minutes but M finally admitted to playing a part only after close to 5 hours of interrogation and after probably realising that I had evidence against him. Or perhaps he decided to confess after going for his prayers.

I sincerely hope this incident would have taught C a valuable lesson: to choose his friends wisely. When asked why he was willing to help M, he answered that M was his best friend. Ya, some sort of best friend he had. His best friend left him in the lurch when trouble came. His best friend claimed that he had no part in the cheating scam even though they had planned to do so before the exam started. His best friend treated him like a dumb fool. His best friend only bothered about himself without giving a hoots about his friend who actually 'assisted' him in his exam.

The attitude of M is totally shocking. I've never expected a 14-year-old to be so bold. Denying his misdeed is bad enough. What so appalling was him asking for the cheating item back and wanting to copy down his friend's answers right in front of me. That's not all. When the HODs questioned him, he acted as if he was innocent and that I was picking on him. I've only done relief teaching for his class once. I do not even know his name. Why in the world would I want to frame him?

M certainly didn't know who he was dealing with here. He thought that being inexperienced, I would be distracted by another student. and that I would be totally engrossed with helping that student till I won't be aware of my surroundings. He didn't expected me to be a police cum detective. I was watching closely over him since the first minute of the exam. Whatever it is, having evidence to prove his guilt was much more important than what I witnessed. This is especially so when their over-protective parents come into the picture.

I don't really give a damn if these students don't respect me. I want them to get the message across that I may be new in this line but I'm not one to be trifled with.

As for next week, I'll be driving the decade old car. My heart will ache badly should my favourite car suffer any scratches.

Child Innocence..

The purpose of this entry is not to mock fun of this child's English. It's to marvel on how sentimental a child of such a tender age can be. By the way, I think she writes much better than some children who are twice her age.

An extract from a 6 year old girl's (daughter of one of the shop tenants at Hock Kee House) diary..

Today, I am very sad because Hock Kee House, my father's shop are going to crash down. This shop was opened at 16 years ago. Before I was born, my father had this shop already. I very miss this shop. Very very miss. I wish the shop is forever mine. I love this shop forever. I will remember this shop at no.3 Paya Lebar Road, Hock Kee House. Goodbye, Hock Kee House. (Diary entry comes with an illustration of Hock Kee House and her family, with tears rolling down her eyes)