Irresponsible People..

I've never felt so out of control and helpless in my life. Almost sprouted out vulgarities but managed to hold my tongue in the nick of time. I was fuming mad and controlling my anger well till I could tolerate no more of the nonsense and I exploded. I have no recollection on what exactly I said. I intended to lash out some real insulting words but I remembered I still wanted to remain in this job.

I'm thoroughly pissed with inefficient, irresponsible and incompetent people. I hate it when the whole organization and administration seem to be totally chaotic with no proper system of handling matters. Ever since working, I realised most grown-ups have no sense of responsibility in them. And mind you, these are mostly graduates, who have undergone close to 2 decades of education, and do not even possess one of the basic values of a human being. I feel sad for the future of my own country if we are going to be filled with this kind of citizens.

Before today, I was still pondering whether I should move on or just remain and be contented with my current position. Having undergone1 hour of 'torture', I realised that for the state of my health and intellectual level, I'm very sure I would need this switch. Tomorrow shall be the day I take action. After months of serious thinking, it feels great when a decision has been make. I've to be thankful to one of the timely changes to the education system which greatly aided and re-confirmed the route which I'm going to choose. I've no regrets now. Finally, this whole job 'burden' has been lifted off me.

Other Blogs..

Have been stumbling across the blogs of ex-classmates, ex-schoolmates and acquaintances. Being the kaypoh I'm well-known for, I get really intrigued with catching up with their lives. The latest blog that I came across? One of my ex-college mate, who's the girlfriend of my ex-crush. Not surprisingly, they are still together as evident by the numerous photos of them together splattered all over her blog. Not sure if it's a twist of fate, I always bump into them at least once a year since we graduated. When our paths crossed, we merely looked at each other without any acknowledgement, and just walked past each other as if we were mere strangers.

The first few times when I saw them together, which was donkey years ago, my reaction was, "Damn it, so long already still together. Walk so close together some more." That was because he was still very charming and suave. The first time when I caught him alone without the girl was in NUS a couple of years ago. He was a freshman then. His attractiveness seemed to have disappeared all of a sudden. In my eyes, he was reduced to 'one of the year 1 students'. Anyway, he had put on weight and no longer seemed perfect. Perhaps its the extra 2 years of education that I had ahead of him that made him look immature.

Whatever it is, he and his girlfriend had just celebrated their 6th year anniversary together. Of course I'm no longer jealous of them and no longer secretly or openly hoping that they would break up :)

It seems that love cannot be measured by time. I've come across a fair share of relationships of friends and family members that were sustained for many years. The end result was rather similar: break-up. As one grows older, one realises that one's partner should not be just someone whom one enjoys the company of. Encountering the sweetness of romance and enjoying the numerous activities and moments shared together is one matter. Having to live together with him/her and his/her family for the rest of their lives is another.

I've always believed that a couple should have the same ideals and focus in life. A particular ex-classmate of mine had just broken up with her boyfriend of close to eight years. Everyone of us had thought she would be the first amongst us to tie the knot, with the exception of me. Of course I didn't voice out my opinion back then. I've always felt that the gulf in their education and maturity levels would be fatally exposed when they entered the labour force. The higher one's education level, the more one would hope to achieve in life. True enough, now, their different expectations and aims in lives forced my friend to come back to reality. Of course, this is not to say that relationships with people of different education levels would not last. It all boils down to each individual's character and outlook in life. If two people are not moving together towards a certain goal, there's no point in continuing the relationship. Putting an end to it is painful, but it's best done as soon as possible if the future together looks bleak. Rather than waste time on something that won't lead anywhere, moving on seems to be a more sensible option, as what my friend bravely did. I truely admire her courage.

On another matter, after months of waiting, my graduation photos are finally ready for collection. Can't wait too see them :)

Rog Delivers..

Rog's victory has definitely lifted my spirits considerably. Not to mention the 'life-saviour' I received yesterday. Was so overjoyed that I totally forgot about my current task. The feeling was as if a life buoy was thrown to me while I was drowing into the sea. Sounds exaggerating but that was entirely how I felt. I hope I would not let the opportunity slip this time round. My fate lies in my own hands now.

Inner Thoughts..

At times, I feel as if I'm living in a cage. I dare not oppose authority. With that, I dare not venture beyond the familiar route. I'm not allowed to pursue whatever I want. I'm told to do what's the best for me even though it's something that I dislike.

It's all something to do with the 'face' problem. The stigma of being labelled 'unemployed' for a period of time is too much for her to bear. To her, sitting at home and waiting is a pure waste of time. Her lack of confidence in me at times really pulls me down as well. To her, all outside jobs are the same with the exception of doctors, lawyers, accountants and of course, teachers. The exceptions are known as something high class called 'professions'. I can't stand her class-consciousness at times. Yes, money talks. My happiness doesn't matter. Her rationale: Every job has a sucky part, just have to bear with it. But she fails to understand that the sucky part of the job for me is the main focus of the job. My main argument is why should I stick to something I have a disdain for when I have other choices.

I don't give a damn about what she says now. It's my life she's talking about here, not hers. I regretted the decision she made for me 13 years ago. Uptil now, I'm still rather sore about it. Maybe life would have been much more different for me now if I've stuck to my decision. But it's pointless blaming her and mulling over it now. I'm not going to repeat the mistake this time round.

US Open..

With the extraction of my wisdom tooth last Saturday, my whole week was spent rotting at home. The only exception was going to the mechanic to collect my car. I'm not complaining since there's a whole load of television programmes to keep me entertained.

The second week of all tennis Grand Slams is always what I look forward to. There are lots of excitement, nerve-wrecking and dramatic moments, twists and turns and most importantly, brilliant tennis to watch out for. Most of the matches at this stage go down to the wire. It makes me glued to the television set, and even refusing to visit the loo just in case I change the luck of the particular person I'm rooting for.

Three out of four of the women's quarter-final matches of the US Open had been stretched to 3 sets. Matches like these all boils down to the mental toughness of the players; who can hang on, who dares to go for the outright winner, and who doesn't crack down under pressure. Whatever it is, tennis matches now resemble boxing matches. The players strike the ball with such power, venom and accuracy, trading blow by blow to each other. I managed to witness the athleticsm of Kim Clijsters against Venus Williams. Her speed around the court is simply amazing. Her determination to chase down every ball with her trademark splits wore down Venus. This is not to say that Clijsters plays like her former fiance, Lleyton Hewitt. Clijsters has a formidable forehand which resembles that of Steffi Graf. The ease at which she strikes her forehand is joyous to watch. I'm looking forward to her semi-finals against the glamour girl of tennis, Maria Sharapova.

My one week holiday is coming to an abrupt end. One more term to go. I'm just waiting for phone calls from unknown numbers. What a pathetic life I lead.