Hong Kong..

Hong Kong trip was good. Besides coming back with an extra lugguage filled with clothes, a pair of shoes and gifts, I've also returned with a refreshed and recharged mind. The latter is the reason why I love travelling. It makes me feel fortunate. Furthermore, it makes me realise that I'm just a tiny soul on this planet. It also reinforces my dislike for people who loves to indulge in self-pity. If you think you are the most miserable and pathetic person on this earth, just think of the millions of others who struggle to make ends meet.

The most satisfying thing about this trip was my ability to read maps and signs to navigate successfully from one place to another. Who said females can't read maps? I'm a living example. Haha. Asking was out of the question because I neither speak nor understand a word of Cantonese. Getting Barbara to ask was pointless because we would get vague answers like "go straight, turn left, walk through the tunnel, turn right." Even if those that we asked gave accurate answers, somehow or other, the meanings would get lost when translated by Barbara to me. Anyway, I dislike relying on others. I would rather find the way myself.

This trip has also made me realise what I want in life and particularly, my significant other. Choosing the one is not akin to buying clothes, which can easily be disposed of when it has worned off or when one is sick of it. So far, no one has managed to give me the sense of security and trust that I need. And I absolutely cannot tolerate guys with selfish behaviour. Yes, people tell me I'm choosy. But I think I'm just being discerning.

Lost Again..

After a strong start to the match, Rog completely lost his focus and subsequently succumbed to the Spanish bull. I'm sore at the way he lost. The Spanish bull did not win the match. Rog simply threw it away himself with the ridiculous number of unforced errors. His backhand totally deserted him. Oh well, it's all over now. No point sulking over it. It's impossible to win forever. Life still goes on.

Accidentally found the shop that had shifted out of my neighbourhood shopping centre a couple of months back. Before shifting, the shop assistant told me that it will be relocating to Marina Square. But since the revamp of Marina Square, I still can't find it. Reason? The brand name is still the same but the shop name has changed. The friendly and familiar shop assistant looked at me from head to toe and commented that I slimmed down. Haha, that really made my day. Not sure whether she was trying to entice me to buy their products or what. Anyway, I replied that it was because she had been seeing me in over-size t-shirts and shorts whenever I patronised them back at the old shop at my neighbourhood. I stepped out of the shop empty-handed but I'm happy that I finally found back my source of working clothes. It's ironic that when one tries so hard to find something, one always can't find it. On the other hand, one always finds something when one least expects it. Cliche as it sounds, at times, certain things should be left to fate.

Came up with a buying list for my trip. The items consist mostly of birthday presents for my dear friends, which all concidentally fall in June/July or November/December. Recent meeting ups with my decade old friends have left me feeling very grateful for them always being at my side. My decade old girlfriends are independent females who are not the sticky kind. Although our meet-up sessions have lessen considerably due to our busy work schedules, we are fine with it. Somehow or other, we seem to be able to read each other's minds without having to say out explicitly. And due to our similar background and shared experiences, we can speak freely and not be accused of being class-conscious spoilt-brats. I find it very labourious to have to mince my words and think twice before speaking to my own friends. We throw in sarcastic and cynical comments with the intention of spicing up conversations knowing that they are not meant to harm anyone. Furthermore and more importantly, we know that the contents of our conversations are kept to ourselves. Certain matters should be kept private and we trust each other to keep our mouths shuts without having to constantly remind each other. To me, being truthful and knowing how to keep private affairs confidential are the most important factors in a friendship. I would lose faith in anyone who is pretentious or/and gossipy.

In other news, he hasn't made up his mind after all! Looks like he'll heed the advice given. Keeping my fingers crossed while waiting for the other party's response.

Mixed Fortunes..

Martina Hingis is back. But it's obvious that she does not possess the weapons to lift another Grand Slam crown. Despite being a little stronger than she was just before she retired from the game, it is still not enough. Kim Clijsters outclassed her in every department yesterday. Being the best strategist in the game doesn't signify anything. The power game in ladies' tennis is here to stay. Sad to say, Hingis will always be around in the later stages of Grand Slam tournaments, but to win them, she would have to rely on her opponents rather than herself.

Rog had a relatively stroll in the park against Mario Ancic yesterday. Next up for him? Nemisis Nalbandian. All the hype has been surrounding the much anticpated final between Rog and Nadal. Everyone seems to have forgotten that Nalbandian too owns a winning record against Rog. It will be a tight match. Rog will need all the luck and the support of the crowd to pull this off. On the other side of the draw, Nadal will be too strong for his opponents. Few would bet against him being in the final on Sunday.

Had a haircut yesterday. It probably knocked some sense into me. Just realised how ridiculous it was for me to stage a 'silent war' with a particular someone. Whatever his decision, I will respect it. He's just being objective. I just have to come to terms with the fact that at some point of my life, he would inevitably move on with his own life.

I never felt that meeting someone would be a chore. I hate people who pressurize me to come up with a place and time to meet while we are on the phone, especially when it's the tennis Grand Slam season. I'm sorry but Rog takes precedence over everything. Frankly speaking, I'm just coming up with excuses. If he ain't related to Barb, I seriously wouldn't even have bothered. Maybe I shall be mean and not accommodate to his time. I don't like it when he sounds so domineering and not give me a choice. Typical MCP.

Inner Feelings..

I dislike the way he gave false hopes. I'm against his decision although I've been keeping mum so far. It's upsetting how an external party can alter his decision so much. I've spoken to him less since he 'announced' his decision. I find it hard to maintain the relationship that we had had. Deep down, I'm hoping he would change his mind, but I seriously doubt it. Not sure if he ever considered our feelings when making his decision. Emotional ties don't seem to count after all. I am thoroughly disappointed. Can't find the right words to describe my feelings right now.

Teachers' Blogs..

Recently, I've been coming across many teachers' blogs. In them, I see numerous pictures of these teachers taken together with their students. On one hand, I am intrigued on reading what is written and seeing the pictures. On the other hand, I am disturbed. These teachers are mostly in their mid-twenties.

It all started at the beginning of the year, where my classmates and I shared our contract teaching experiences with one another. Most of them mentioned that they stayed on because they love being around children. They still keep in contact with their students via MSN, SMS or even having outings with them. When I heard this from one my classmates, I thought it was an exception. But after all of them shared, I realised it was a norm. At that moment, I thought I was a complete failure. During my contract teaching experience, I don't think I built much rapport with my students. When I announced that it was the last day with them, none of them showed any reaction. There was no further probing, no goodbye, and definitely, no asking for handphone number, email or MSN contact.

Shouldn't a teacher and her student keep a certain distance? There's all this talk about building rapport with students and winning their trust over. But to what extent should this rapport building go to? I get uncomfortable with the thought of being so over-friendly with my students. I always feel that if we become on par with the students, that is becoming friends with them, the students would take advantage of the situation and climb above our heads. This notion came about from my contract teaching experience. It's impossible to strike a balance between being friendly to the class and getting them to learn. I would rather be Miss Unpopular but achieve my objective of making them learn something at the end of the lesson.

There's nothing wrong with taking photographs with students. But I feel that splattering them on one's(teacher's) blog seems rather inappropriate. Did the teachers get the students' permission before doing so? I understand that most students would love to have their faces put up for the whole world to see. But there definitely would be exceptions. After all, not everyone owns a pretty face. If I were a student, I definitely would not want my picture up on my teacher's blog.

Moving on to the point about frequently MSNing/SMSing/going out with students. Yes, it's true that through these, we can get to know and understand our students deeper. But seriously I really can't imagine myself doing those. It seems to make a mockery out of our profession. There's a limit to what we can do to help our students. I'm a firm believer that teachers should have a life of their own. Our lives should not just revolve around school and students. Otherwise, we will definitely suffer from a burnout. Building rapport with students is indeed important but it should be confined to the school premises. Anything other than that is an invasion of our personal space.